The Past 2 Months

So, this has by far been the most heartbreaking, faith testing and hardest 2 months of our lives. By God's grace we are still here and moving forward. Though for me life has lost a bit of its luster, I know that it will not always be this way. Every day God gives us the strength to get through, be it with tears or laughter. Losing Parker has been very difficult but we are looking forward to the future and having more babies and telling them all about their big brother, Parker Ellis, who was only with us for 9 short months but changed our lives and hearts forever.

We wanted to let everyone know that we have gotten most of the autopsy results back now and the cause of death was determined to be "placental insufficiency". So basically, the placenta stopped functioning as it should and was not getting Parker the nourishment that he needed. They said it "aged prematurely". However, they do not know what caused the placenta to fail in this way.

The good news is that in subsequent pregnancies there are ways of checking for this problem to make sure it is not happening again. My next pregnancies will be considered high risk. So, I will have more ultrasounds, more check-up visits (especially towards the end), regular non-stress tests and they will be generally keeping a very close eye on the baby and I. They will also consider inducing me as soon as the babies lungs are fully developed even if everything is looking good. Especially if there are any concerns.

As far as getting pregnant again is concerned, the Dr said that we can start trying again as soon as two things happen. 1. 3-6 months go by after the delivery date (which was Sept. 21st) 2. I lose all the weight I gained in the last pregnancy. So, right now it has been 2 months and my weight watchers stuff should be coming in the mail any day! I am also starting to exercise again now that the Dr. ok'd it. So, we are already praying and planning for the next little one God blesses us with, whenever that may be. Though we are hoping for sooner rather than later :)

We are having more and more good days, having fun with friends and spending quality time with each other. We went to Whidbey Island over Halloween weekend to spread Parker's ashes and relax together for a few days. It was very good. I have also been able to fly out to MN to visit my family, thanks to a very generous gift I received. So, things are settling into a new normal for us and we are getting excited for the future and all the possibilities it holds. There is a lot of hope there. Thank you all for your prayers and support. We really couldn't have gotten through such a tough time without you all.

Thanks be to God, our father, the one who loves our little boy more than we can know... The One who comforts and strengthens us daily.

This is us with Parker after I delivered himThis is us on the Deception Pass bridge where we spread Parker's ashes
Me with my Dad on my trip to MNMy Mom and I on my trip to MN